Mirror, Mirror On The Wall...

I had the pleasure the other day of having a mirror held up to my spirit, thus revealing a quality that had remained overlooked for some time but was creating quite a bit of commotion. As a daily practice, I often wake about 5am to start the day with a brief walk, tea, a review personal affirmations, and prayer or meditation. Depending on the level of noise my internal self is creating at the moment each morning, my ability to genuinely reflect is determined. You can imagine then, since in the past months the noise has resembled something of a wind tunnel, moments of reflection have been hurried and lacking in the ability make a lasting difference.

How can we silence our internal noise? For me it becomes easily askew quite due to the challenges of single parenthood, work, and relationships in general (aka: life). Have my boys done their homework and are they feeling safe? Have I paid my cell phone bill yet...is it electronic billing or paper? Did I forget anything for my project at work? Oh no, a child is sick...I need to scramble to find last minute help! Did I fulfill my obligations to my partner or friends? What's that smell, did I remember to put on deodorant? Give my mind a moment wander and watch the spiral occur like water going down the bathtub drain!

But back to my original thought, how do we train ourselves to be mindful of the present moment and silence the noise? Most of these thoughts about life are required in order to operate on a daily basis but can clearly motivate survival mode more than a mode of thriving. Let's consider one solution that has presented itself to me several times in the recent past...surrender.

Surrendering comes when the mirror is held up and the masks come off. For example, recently a much valued relationship came to a conclusion and while pondering all the reasons for it's expiration, it was very easy to see why it didn't function because of the other person. But knowing that who we surround ourselves with  is a direct reflection of the characteristics and struggles in ourselves, I knew better than to judge.

After some time I realized the struggle obvious to me in the other person was correlated directly with my own struggle, yet in a different way. Fear. My 'aha' moment was for me, fear lies in my being unable to own my power and maintain healthy boundaries with people who have certain dominating personality traits. Because I tend to lack confidence and belief that my power is even possible to exercise with these personality, it bleeds into every area of my life. Although this realization is not directly related with the dissolution of the relationship, the far reaching effects of my fear and lack of confidence certainly played a notable part in my responses toward the other person from the beginning. Boom.

Now what? Well...acceptance seemed to be the next viable option to explore in the hopes of silencing my internal tornado. Realizing that my fear was playing a 'lead' role and causing disruption in so many areas of life, it only made sense that acceptance could help it dissipate. After all, my desire to live a more peaceful and present existence propels me forward, so not accepting the role of fear would ultimately be too risky to ignore and the only option was to accept its existence.

Acceptance to me means that you can acknowledge your challenges with objectivity (and most often the help of good friends), then remove the power or energy behind what is acknowledged by loving it away. It's loving yourself and the challenge. You have been given the particular personality hurdle for a reason, so to view yourself through the eyes of God, your closest friends, or even family, means that love and acceptance are unconditional. When we practice this art of acceptance the results of healing (or necessary actions to begin healing) soften the intrusive internal noises, giving the mind  the ability to be more present and clear to make healthier decisions.

The discipline of loving a challenging aspect of ourselves is not easy to do but the rewards stand to be great. Although we are all individuals with varying circumstances, consider how you might benefit through the acknowledgement of your own internal noise and it's origin, attempt to surrender your discoveries, and practice of acceptance and self love. Maybe it allows for more present living, overall contentment, and a soft gentle internal sound? Your thoughts are welcome...

Blessings!