Seasons, Cycles, & Coping...Oh My!

In this moment as we begin our new year, what season of life do you find yourself in? What is the primary internal place you feel is being shaken and stirred to create new growth? And even more so, how are you coping with the changes swirling around you?

As 2013 has wrapped up, so many of  my life's seasons began and ended and to list them in under an hour would prove impossible. Personally for me, the season most noteworthy of a shout out last year was 'relationships'. Relationships which began were friendships in my local and spiritual community of Los Angeles and work relationships. Relationships that have concluded, but are rich in lessons, would be those with family members who have passed on, some friendships, and my marriage of nine years. All of these cycles in the previous year brought a range transformations in my personal life, yet I currently find that it's not so much the lessons I want to focus on moving forward, it's my ability to handle the emotions as I'm moving through them.
 
I've tried nearly everything on a surface level to cope with the life's changes, if turning a blind eye or procrastinating counts as a coping mechanism. It's much easier to read about friends on Facebook or play Candy Crush than to stomach looking for yet another childcare provider, read that self-help book that has an inch of dust on the shelf, or even to pay bills. But the backlash of anxiety when I tackle my challenges in such a fashion quickly proves detrimental every time. I've even tried eating my way through the intense feelings the seasons of change can produce and it doesn't help. But what HAS helped is a loving supportive network of people who hold me accountable to my moving forward through these seasonal changes in life and offering advice that is not always what my ears want to hear, yet contains more value than I give credence to in the moment.

Luckily, there are a handful of people who love me enough to continually say the same thing multiple times per week at any given time. This wise advice is simple - "be kind, gentle, and love yourself." Pretty straightforward, right? I certainly wish, and I'm sure they do as well, that I had listened the first 30 times it was being said. However, after all the cycles and seasons of last year, I find myself faced with this lesson and knowing the key for moving forward successfully lies in my ability to genuinely act on this wise advice. If accomplished, it will certainly create a firm foundation for my ability to emotionally cope with the transitions of life cycles and seasons.

Acceptance, healthy boundaries, daily spiritual time, and sleep are at the top of my personal list for how to begin practicing self love. If I can begin to practice gratitude for the the blessings in the moment and the unanswered prayers, shut off my phone and be without distraction for a day, wake each morning and spend quiet moments spiritually nurturing my soul...the self love will grow more abundant than what it has been in the past. Sleeping, as small sounding as it is, will also allow my body to handle the emotions of seasonal in a more balanced way. With practice, these little things will ultimately change the way I move through challenging transitions. Without practice however, nothing will change and the same frantic anxiety/fear/anger will take over each time a new season begins...it's a personal choice to practice and a hard one at that. (Let us not forget the definition of insanity=doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results)

Everyone has a different formula on how to set a solid foundation for healthfully moving through seasons of change emotionally. The challenge is to identify the theme and underlying emotions...what is at the root of the emotions? THAT is where the freedom lies. For if you are anything like me in the way you handle stress during the most intense of times, the heart of the problem is often some form of self care that we are refusing ourselves. We refuse to care for ourselves often because we either don't believe it isn't deserved or is an act of selfishness.

May this year be filled with blessings for each of you and the ability to feel stable in the midst of the seasons of change we will experience. And as each experience presents itself may you have the strength to identify what is necessary to create a loving foundation on which you can feel stable as the transformations take place!