My white knuckled grip on the wheel of life...

“Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you're going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it,

enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.”  ―    Ann Lamott

Trying to control the outcome of all events and decisions in my life is a a never ending struggle. Will the children do well in school and make good friends? Will we be able to financially stable enough to provide food on the table? Will I ever find a good job after staying home and being a professional concierge to my family? Will I be able to afford laser hair removal for the beard that is ever flourishing on my female face? It's a good thing you are on the outside of my head and not on the inside caught in the tornado of questions!

The principles of this earthly world drill  into me that I should believe that we have complete control over our lives. When we loose control we too often are labeled as 'weak', 'unsuccessful', or 'unstable'. Watching others go through these moments heightens the fear that this too, might be us one day.  Most often, it takes an act from Mother Nature or a death to knock us up aside the head and remind us that our daily lives are filled with the illusion of ultimate control.

Behind the veil of illusion lies reality. A harsh reality at times. We simply can't control another's actions, a potential loss of job if a company is being run poorly, mother nature's destroying what we thought was permanent in our life, or even the time when our loved ones leave us in the physical sense. Nothing can be done in many circumstances to change this...but if you have found a way, do let me in on the secret;)!

Stepping with one foot in front of the other and observing the sights, smells, and lessons occurring in our lives is the only conceivable way I can think of to lesson my white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel of life. For when I do this, Divine Power (aka God), who knows no boundaries in time or space, works most quickly and efficiently producing resolutions that are greater outcomes than I had dreamt up in the first place. Savoring the moments are proving to be the essential ingredient.. this all while I listen to the laughter of my children, eat fresh sushi from a favorite restaurant, and share hilariously shameless stories with girlfriends about my hair debacles.

So here goes...I'm gonna lessen the grip on my wheel for now to fully experience each moment presented to me and make the best possible decision based on the faith that the best will be the result in the end.