sometimes a theme will reveal itself many times and in thousands of ways to someone, before a light bulb goes off and the person's eyes are opened to the message being for their own personal growth. One such theme in my life is the concept of speaking my truth with confidence and being the person I REALLY am at the core. A challenge since being created, this speaking my truth and being 'Eliza Ann' has shown up in a variety of fashions; only recently to be consciously taken on in my 'mental' wrestling ring and observed for healing.
All 30 years of my existence, I've been comfortable adapting to situations and circumstances because it felt like the right thing to do. However, earlier this year with a marriage on the rocks and living thousands of miles away from any close friends or family, my true self began screaming at me for attention. As it turns out, always being extroverted, loving large crowds, maintaining a 'tough cookie' everything is just great image wasn't me. And that's only a small portion of what was rising to the surface to be let go! How on earth could I have let this charade go on this long? With the help of a very wise Dr Dorin and personal insights, some truths came to light.
If someone is told over and over that they need to 'be', 'feel' or 'act' a certain way throughout their lifetime, they stuff who they really are because they feel guilt or shame...like the organic thoughts of the individual aren't 'valid' or 'right'. My thought is that in turn, the individual doesn't trust their instincts, is indecisive about their path, and/or constantly negates who they really are by putting themselves down or apologizing constantly. In my mind, this is how we learn not to speak our truth and let energy flow (energy of our pursuits, relationships, spirituality). A MAJOR result of stifling ourselves is anger.
Only the individual can discover their own truth. Discovering your own truth after walking the path of invalidation can be raw. For as you decipher what really resonates with your spirit and tear down the illusion that anyone other than you can determine who you are; you uncover anger and fear that needs to be cleared.This is where my own spirituality comes into play, and where I challenge people in their belief of God/Divine. For with help from our 'Divine' network, they can assist in supporting the process and giving us the signals we need to have faith to continue moving forward. It doesn't mean that we will consistently be sad, peaceful or in a place of faith, but our Angels and Guardians really will, when given the opportunity, help us along.
For those who struggle like I did (and still do...who are we kidding), I would just encourage prayer and meditation where you can ask for help to speak and be who you are meant to be. Ask for the help and it will be given, just be ready to accept it. Have the patience to be gentle with yourself, seek encouragement and support during this time. Aspects (spiritual, relationships, mental) will shift during this change but the peace, joy and contentment found in its place, is far worth the pain it takes to get there.
If you picture a your best lived life and desire so greatly, that's a start to finding your own truth. Bringing it to fruition takes work but it's possible!
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